watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm really busy with my period
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