you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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