Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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