last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
