I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
