he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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