sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
