i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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