you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
