I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
