You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
