I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
