That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
