He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize