How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
