I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Someone came in the potted fern
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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