I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Randomize
