so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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