I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
