I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
