Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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