STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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