Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
