? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I bet he comes in French.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
