i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
