Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
