id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize