you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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