waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have aggressive nipples.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
