Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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