she woke up with a sticky ear
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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