The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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