i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
