I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Someone shattered a urinal.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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