4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I looked at my own cervix.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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