Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
