I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This is the high leading the old right now
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
