Screwed.edu
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
