Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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