remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
