So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I love you.
Bad choice
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
