wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
