Tell her she can't have a vagina
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
