Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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