respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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