it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
