So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
