You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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