so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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