After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
