How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
