i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
