It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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