Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
