We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
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That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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