you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
