Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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