I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize