Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize